A milestone and the real deal

A blank page.

Before my fingers started jumping on this keyboard, this page was blank.

This next year feels so much the same to me. What will it turn into?

I think I need to honest.

For a while I’ve hated written words. I feel there is so much power in words, but it is so easy to use words that don’t represent anything of real depth, or honesty.  Then they become cheep, and you don’t know which words to believe.

I was talking to the Father this morning, and giving Him every part of my heart again, -even during the night and early hours my selfishness started to take control again. Bahh

Anyway, during our time together I feel like He gave me 3 priorities for my communication with you…

1. Show how God does this miraculous thing of bringing His kingdom through this regular, weak person following His Spirit in this regular world.
2. Relay what I see of God’s heart and character through of what I see and experience.
3. Introduce you to what God is doing in Africa so you can pray and get involved.

So with that in mind, I want you to know I don’t want to write words just to have words to write.   I want to document my real journey.

So get ready. You may not agree with me all the time, and you may not think I’m the best one to be used… cause I’m just regular, of because I struggle quite a bit.
But I don’t think He uses the Rock Stars as much as we think. He uses the regular ones who say yes.

So with that….

Hello.

I am trying to write my support letter today.
It’s pretty hard to do.
I was talking with my sister Kitri, and telling her how I’m having such a hard time writing a letter letting people know what I’m going to be doing… I feel like it’s marketing myself… and trying to prove what I’m doing is worth people giving to.

I hate sending people a letter that I haven’t talked to in a while, or who I haven’t seen for a long time… if that’s the first communication they get from me. Like all I care about is their money.  =0(  I hate that.
But she encouraged me by saying people really DO want to hear what God is doing in my life, and they really ARE interested. That it’s ok that I haven’t been able to keep up with everyone… We are all busy, and people understand. We can’t always keep up with everyone we love.

So that helped quite a bit.

But the biggest thing that helped was the other day I was sitting out on my front porch with the fresh Fall air moving the leaves around me. I was thinking about all the things I’m going to attempt to do in Africa. How none of them will work unless God comes through.  How the needs and suffering there is so overwhelming, and how I can’t do it all.  As I sat there I looked up and saw one tiny clump of leaves set apart, away from the rest.  They were brilliant. And all of a sudden I understood. I don’t have to go there looking at all the needs and try to figure out how to meet them all. All I have to do is go and simply love. Love deeply, love simply, and love purely. Love the ones He places right around me. Love them well, and as I do He will flow out of me, and do all the rest. His Words will come out with power as I love. His ideas will flow as I open my heart and love.

He said, “I desire mercy and not sacrifice.”  If I do something just for the sake of sacrificing for Jesus, He is not very well pleased.  If I give my body, even to be burned, but don’t have love it profits NOTHING.

But if the cross I bear is just the natural consequence of real love… THAN He gets glory and shows the world His heart.

So, I am going on that. I am going to love. And out of that He will be able to have me, and use me, in whatever way He wants.

He turned my eyes to my roommates here. How am I loving them? He showed me no time is wasted time, or waiting time. All time is His. His 30 years of being a regular carpenter wasn’t any less a part of following God’s will than His 3 of healing, and preaching, and dieing.

No matter what our lives look like. If we give it to Him every action can be a powerful entrance of His kingdom.

So, yesterday I turned 30.
(Sorry, I know women are not supposed to tell their age. But I think that’s sort of strange, and I don’t care who knows, Especially since I look young. =0)

Any way, I had such a great day, and am so grateful for all my sweet friends and family who came around to celebrate with me.

It’s a huge mile stone, one that kind of took me by surprise that I have reached it already, but now that I’ve crossed that threshold, and am squarely now in my 30’s I have determined to embrace it for all it’s worth.

Look for my letter coming soon, maybe to your mailbox, maybe to your inbox. =0)

I’m checking on tickets and filling out my visa applications…

It’s really happening… it’s really happening!

All for Him.

=0)

Miss It

I came across this on Bill DiCocco’s
blog . He and his wife are working in SA.

“I heard a story this week about a rural village that was visited by
a philanthropist. The gentleman noticed how the women of the village
had to walk 5k each day to fetch water- and walk 5k home again with
a heavy bucket balanced on the heads. The job took the better part
of every morning. He was excited to be able to run water lines into
the village providing instant access and freeing the women up from
such hard and difficult labor. Six months later, the man returned to
the village to find the pipes had been dug up and broken. Of course,
upset and confused, he blustered for an explanation. The elders told
him that in the previous months the women in the village had fallen
prey to an epidemic no one could identify. Many of them were
depressed, irratable and lethargic. As the source of this mysterious
illness was probed into, it became clear that the women were used to
gathering each morning in groups of two or three and walking
together – talking, inquiring, sharing the journey and sharing life
with each other for the hours it took to collect the water. Without
this task, they were suffering from a disconnection from their
community. The very thing that was designed to make their lives
better was the thing that isolated them from the connections they
very much needed.”

How often do we go to serve and give people what they “need”…. and we totally miss it.
If this guy had lived with the people for a while and heard their hearts on what they really needed, and helped them -by their own efforts- get or build it… how much more would his investment have lasted.

My prayer is that as we look toward Africa, and as we serve people here in the US…. that I don’t miss it.

THEY B US

How can we be missionaries as normal people at home?

What are missionaries?
They are people whose main vocation, and aim in life is to bring people to Jesus and to aid Him in the growth of His kingdom. They structure their day and their time around what will make that happen best. They create activities, go to certain places, and look for people who are open and who they can intentionally lead to Christ. Their friends are the ones who encourage them in this endeavor, their only enemies are ones who hate them because of Christ.

So why this difference in our mind…. The THEM vs US.

Why has the whole body been reduced down to spectators while a tiny percentage of people do the “work” of the ministry?

We need to live here like we are on a missions trip.
“My every endeavor is to see people come into relationship with God.”

How do we do that?
1. Repent. Repent from squabbles that keep us from being unified with our brothers and sisters in Jesus. Repent from living as if other things are more important and more satisfying than Christ Himself. Repent from living for ourselves instead of for the cause of Christ. Repent from pride which gives us arrogant, satisfied pleasure in our own righteousness, and looks down on others who are struggling or “worse” than us. Mourn over our sin, and be completely willing to become whatever following Him will make us into.

2. Accept His forgiveness. Allow His goodness to restore you to relationship with Himself. Let Him love you. Don’t believe the lie that condemnation and guilt are the marks of true Christianity.  Instead they show that you haven’t received His forgiveness, and love yet. It is a very humbling thing to truly accept His forgiveness. But when you do, you will be free, and you will live completely loved.

3. Do it with others.  Find and commit yourself to people who are running after Him in the same way, and make them your best friends. Keep each other accountable, and allow their friendship to refine you, and spur you on.

4. Rearrange your life. Do everything in light of His purpose. How can you best engage the ones you are here to impact? How can you best lead them to Jesus. Are you in relationships with non-believers? Do you have time to “waist” on them, and love them? If things crowd Jesus out of your life, or displease Him, drop them. Check out which relationships are bringing you down, and which ones are helping you grow. Don’t just throw people out because they are hard, discern if the dysfunction in the relationship is because of an immaturity in you, and is meant to teach you something. But also know that some “believers” are stagnant and being with them will just pull you into that place.  Some relationships with non-believers are also going nowhere as well… just bringing you down or tempting you. Pour into the ones you see are hungry for something more, who are wanting goodness, and see their need for Jesus.  When filling up your schedule, ask Him if the activity is in line with His mission for you, or just clogging up your life.

As Americans we have to reevaluate some of our values if we want to really live wholeheartedly for His kingdom.

Safety
Comfort
Stability
Personal Achievement
Efficiency
Entertainment
Tolerance
Prosperity
Self-Sufficiency

Do we use these values to help us answer the questions of what we do or don’t do, or do God’s values, and His mission guide our decisions.

As we run after Him we might discover He is calling us away from some of these things.

Above all abide in Him, knowing that His overarching goal is our union with Himself, for His glory and our joy.

These are the thoughts He’s been challenging me with…
He wants to come back, and that’s what I want too!